How to get a job referral

(without being cringe)

November 5, 2025

How to get a job referral header

Let's be honest, referrals aren't just a hack.

They carry real weight in your application. Like, “move-you-to-the-top-of-the-pile” kind of weight.

But asking for one doesn't have to feel awkward or transactional. Here's how to do it right, without the ick.

Step 1: Find the Right People

You don't need to know a recruiter personally to get your foot in the door. You just need to know someone who knows someone.

Start with:

  • 🔍 Searching LinkedIn for 1st- and 2nd-degree connections
  • 🎓 Tapping into alumni networks (college, bootcamps, past employers)
  • 💬 Joining industry Slack or Discord groups
  • 💡 Engaging with people who comment thoughtfully on LinkedIn. They're often more approachable than someone you'd cold DM.

Proximity = opportunity.

Step 2: Prioritize Startups and Small Teams

Here's a secret: many early-stage companies don't post every role.

Their hiring is often opportunistic meaning if you show up at the right time, you can create your own opportunity.

💡 Pro tip: Use Crunchbase to find companies that just raised funding. They're probably about to scale and looking for new talent (even if they haven't said it publicly yet).

Step 3: Reach Out the Right Way

The difference between networking and being annoying comes down to your approach.

❌ “Can you hook me up with a job?”

✅ “Hey [Name], I noticed you've been at [Company] for a few years. I really admire [specific project/mission]. Would you be open to sharing what the team looks for in candidates?”

See the difference? One is about you. The other is about them.

Authentic > transactional. Always.

Step 4: Make the Lift Easy

If they're willing to refer you, amazing. But don't make them do extra work.

Make it easy for them to say yes by writing the referral for them:

“I know [Your Name] from [context]; they're skilled in [specific area] and would be a great fit for [role/team].”

All they have to do is copy, paste, and hit send. Everyone wins.

Step 5: Close the Loop

Always (and we mean always) follow up with a thank-you, even if nothing comes of it.

Referrals are about relationships, not transactions.

💬 Small gestures compound over time. People remember kindness, humility, and follow-through.

The Real Talk

Referrals work because another human can vouch for your holistic fit, not just what's on your resume.

But not everyone has equal access to networks. And that's a problem.

That's why we're building **Vire,** a smarter way to spotlight your full story beyond who you know.

We help you find where you belong, not just where you can get referred.

✨ Because the best opportunities shouldn't depend on your network. They should depend on you.