The 7 deadly sins of the resume
July 18, 2025
Ah, the resume. Once a noble artifact of career ambition. Now? A cursed scroll of clichés and font crimes.
If you're wondering why hiring managers aren't calling, your resume might be committing one (or seven) of these sins.
💀 “Proficient in Microsoft Word”
Groundbreaking. Truly.
Unless you're applying to be a Microsoft historian, this is the professional equivalent of saying you know how to use a pencil.
🥴 “Team player with strong communication skills”
So brave of you to admit you're employable.
This tells us… absolutely nothing. It's HR Mad Libs, and we've all read it a thousand times. Say something real.
📎 Times New Roman, size 10, single-spaced
Did you write this on a typewriter in the dark?
There's minimalism, and then there's giving your reader an eye strain migraine. Respect the scroll.
🔮 GPA from 2009
Unless your GPA is aging like wine, keep it corked.
We're sure you crushed that Econ 101 final — but if it predates the iPad, maybe let it go.
🥵 “Fast-paced environment” in every job description
Because trauma needs branding too.
What are we even saying here? That you survived? Congrats, but let's talk impact, not pace.
🛑 File name: Resume_FINAL_v3_REALFINAL.pdf
If the file name screams panic, the content probably does too.
You had one job. Name it cleanly. Don't let your organizational spiral speak louder than your experience.
📚 Four pages of keyword soup
"Strategic. Cross-functional. Synergy. Blockchain."
Okay, we get it — you fed your resume to ChatGPT and hoped for the best. But hiring managers are people, not algorithms. Buzzwords don't make you stand out. Clarity does.
So What Now?
Your resume sins are forgivable. We've all been there.
But let's be real: the resume isn't just flawed — it's obsolete. It was never designed to show who you really are, or what kind of work will actually fit you.
That's why we built Vire. A new kind of career platform that replaces the bullet-point masquerade with something real: your goals, your energy, your impact — in your voice.
We're done pretending resumes are working. Let's move on.